


Burning

by orphan_account



Category: K-pop, SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: Implied Soonhoon, Implied jihan, M/M, i just project tbh x, i love my boys x, this is a coming out fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-03
Updated: 2020-06-03
Packaged: 2021-03-04 02:27:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,140
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24526102
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: He's decided it feels like burning.How does he even begin to ask any of his friends about this? “hey, does the thought of another boy make your chest combust into flames like mine?”.
Relationships: Hong Jisoo | Joshua/Yoon Jeonghan, Kwon Soonyoung | Hoshi/Lee Jihoon | Woozi
Comments: 6
Kudos: 55





	Burning

He’s decided it feels like burning. Soonyoung has no idea how it started, or god knows when it did, but he does know this feeling in his chest is hot and heavy and weird and more than anything he wants rid of it. It isn’t bad, not all the time anyway, he remembers when he was 15 a boy at school looking at him and smiling at a joke he must have made, the feeling was so strong that he thought his chest was genuinely going to cave in if he looked at him for much longer. But then he feels it alone too, a familiar warmth that settles in his chest and is almost a comfort, an old friend he knows will stay with him. He wonders if his friends feel like this too? He feels it when the barista at the coffee shop on campus writes a smiley face on his cup, when a handsome stranger laughs an apology for bumping into him on the subway, he feels this weight in his chest so much he really can’t be sure what normal feels like anymore. How does he even begin to ask any of his friends about this? “hey, does the thought of another boy make your chest combust into flames like mine?”.

The thought cycle he puts himself through is more exhausting than his dance training session for that day. Dancing makes it go away, Soonyoung is grateful he found that out quickly. The loud heavy bass of music is what takes over his chest, his arms and hands moving too quickly to think about them in the hold of another, his breath too heavy to think about where its moving in the firepit of his lungs. He loves to dance and dance and dance and not think. He feels it most when he’s with Jihoon. That stupid boy.

Except when he’s with him, he loves the feeling and he’s never leant into it more. Jihoon makes the feeling warm, that familiar friend. And though he’s known Jihoon for 3 years know, been through long library nights with him, far too much beer and cup noodles at ungodly hours with him, talked about what feels like absolutely everything with him, the feeling in his chest is only getting stronger when he’s around and Soonyoung knows he has to do something before he sets himself on fire. Pining and waxing lyrically about how in he is definitely in love with his best friend to himself is only going to go so far. And Soonyoung knows that road is beginning to thin. Of all the fucking people Soonyoung had planned to come out to first, Chan and Jun were probably towards the bottom of the list. He’d planned on telling Jeonghan and Joshua first, after all, the only gay couple he knew were practically his older brothers and he knew that they’d at least partially understand this, he probably wouldn’t even have to say it out loud. That’s a bonus, Soonyoung thinks. But no, its Chan at 1am that makes him break.

“Somethings on your mind hyung, you sure you're alright?” He says it so calmly, so gently that Soonyoung for a moment is convinced he’s been thinking out loud accidentally for the last hour. “You’re not yourself at the moment” He walks closer to where Soonyoung is standing in their tiny shared kitchen

“And that’s ok! I just, I know classes are probably stressful, I know they are for me, so, you know, if you need to talk, I’m here!” Something about the way this kid sends Soonyoung a lopsided sleepy smile, so calm, genuine and caring, pours cold water on the fire in his chest and the steam feels like an explosion. He feels like a coil has snapped and suddenly he’s crying, heavy and fast and Chan, though shocked, holds him, lets him cry, lets the steam escape before the pressure becomes dangerous. The crying wakes Jun, Soonyoungs other roommate up, and for a good ten minutes, nobody knows what to do. “I…sorry, just stress I guess, go to sleep, both of you, I’m alright!” Soonyoung knows it looks as genuine as it feels as soon as the sentence leaves his mouth. “I’m not buying that for a second.” Jun sighs as he hands out fresh brewed coffee, seeming to sense it could be a long night.

“We’re basically family, hyung, you can talk to us, we want you too!” Theres Chans lopsided grin again. Soonyoung can barely look up, puffy faced, still hiccupping from sobbing on his god damn roommate, but he sees the pair looking at him, probably his closest, and silliest friends, and something in him just knows he’s safe here, weirdly enough. “I think…” he hiccups, again “I think I might, god, sorry-“

“you’re apologising for literally nothing, Soonyoung.” Jun sips his coffee and giggles warmly, and Soonyoung nearly cries again at how warm it makes him feel. “I think I like Jihoon, as, as more than a friend, and it’s weird and I’m so scared? I don’t know what to do and honestly I wasn’t ever planning on telling anyone and I haven’t even come out to myself ad now I’ve just come out to two people at the same time and I feel weird-“ The words are coming out of Soonyoung faster than even he can process, and he thinks that now he’s opened his mouth the fire he feels is going to touch everything he loves and spread to everyone. And now Jun is hugging him, wait, Jun is hugging him. Chan’s grin has got wider. “This is going to be ok, you idiot.” “You want me to help you ask Jihoon hyung out?”

He does eventually tell Joshua and Jeonghan, over coffee, hushed and quickly but he gets the words out. Joshua hugs him so hard he thinks a rib might crack, and Jeonghan gives a typical speech that sounds smart like him and invites Soonyoung over for “family dinner at any time, ok?”. Seungkwan cries, because of course he does, and Vernon even designs him a small pride flag sticker in their shared design class, whispering to ask if he thinks that it’s cool. He does, he puts it inside his planner, a secret declaration to himself that he thinks is a good start. Jeonghan makes Soonyoung get more stickers from Vernon soon after. Minghao is excited to finally get someone in his dance major he can teach vogueing to that won’t wrinkle their nose, and dancing becomes even more important to Soonyoung than it ever was before. Jihoon, as expected, is absolutely clueless, has no idea that Soonyoung has in the last week told his closest friends how much he actually wants to kiss him. He might take Chan up on his offer of help.


End file.
